This week’s Monday Listicle’s topic could have been explosive: Ten Things Husbands Should Do. Yeah, at first I wasn’t going to write this list. I thought it was just an argument waiting to happen. I asked my husband to write the reverse list instead, you know “Ten Things Wives Should Do”; he said ‘no’. He’s right that list would also have been an argument waiting to happen.

This instead I’ve written a list of “Ten Things That Could Have Gone Wrong If I Wrote This Week’s List”.

1. My husband could have read it (this is a public blog your know) and I’d have some ‘splainin to do. And I don’t like splainin stuff, so I’ll just keep it to myself, thank you.
2. My mother could have read this list (once again public) and I’d have to have “girl talk”. No thank you to that.
3. My mother-in-law could have read it and then she’d tell my husband, and I’d be right back to #1
4. I would spend half of my next therapy session talking about my feelings, and why I posted the list on the internet.
5. Someone from my job will read it, and they’d be all up in business. No thank you.
6. Someone hoochie-mama from my hubby’s job would read it and be like “Oh, your wife just doesn’t understand”. Then I’d have to punch her in the face, and I’d have to go to court. I hate court. Pass
7. My list could trigger some deeply repressed memory. I highly doubt it, but I can’t take that risk. I have no idea what I’d find if I start digging around in my head. I’d probably find myself back at #4.
8. My list could probably start fights around the world. I can just hear some wives around the world: “See, other wives think that you men should put the bloody toilet lid down!”
9. My list could probably increase the national divorce rates. (see #8) I’m just not going to be a party to that.
10. One day, hundreds of years from now, after the Mayan-predicted apocalypse, there will only be a hand full of humans who have survived. As they try to rebuild society, they will use my blog lists to understand the mating patterns of humans during our time-period. My list of “Ten Things Husbands Should Do” would have led to a skewed view of social roles. In the new human society men would all bake, wear aprons, give foot massages on request, and only speak every third Thursday. I don’t think it would have turned out well.

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This week’s Monday Listicles assignment was 10 things I’d like to delete. *evil laughter* Just my kind of list! I’ve immediate started imagining that I had one of those circles you use on art computer programs to erase things like…

1. The day I started picking hair (OCD reference). Yeah, that would probably be number one.
2. The time I took to watch Australia. I will never get that time back…
3. My Mother-In-Law… wait that’s mean. I take that back.
4. The day my Grandpa died…. I miss him…
5. About 8 annoying pound off my mid section and thighs…
6. About 15 pounds that covering that 6-pack my husband used to have
7. Albert Einstein’s decision to help with the development of Nuclear Weapons.
8. The moment my mama got ovarian cancer
9. The moment my mama got breast cancer
10. The 8-years George Bush was President… come on, even people who voted for him look back on that and want a re-do….

BONUS: I want that two and a half days I wait in lines every year back! I hate waiting in line!

If you could erase anything, what would you erase? 

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Yeah, it is Monday Listicles day! This week we were tasked with making a list that reflects 10 things that have happened to us in an hour. I decided to pick a hour in typical weekday.

2:30 Say good bye to all my students. Love ‘em, but bye!

2:35 Take few minutes to tidy up the classroom and prep for the next day…

2:45 I’m pulling that car out park on the way home….

3:05 I’m listening to Michael Basiden, or singing along with my car radio…

3:10 Welcome home! Greeted by Mari…

3:12 Wrangling Mari into her lease…

3:20 Walking to the mailbox wondering if I won anything from my sweeping

3:21 Fussing at Mari to “hurry up and poop!” (She must smell every blade of grass first!)

3:25 Falling on the couch….

3:30 Turn on the TV and computer to zone out until my hubby comes home!

Regimented? Yeah, this is typical. But it is what happens most days

What are you doing during this time of day??

This week’s Listicle topic was selected by the lovely Mommy Padawan. She what I would do and where I would go if I had 48 hours free of all responsibilities and unlimited cash. First, I decided that I have to take a boat, plan, limo, and train during my 48 hours!!

1. Where to go? This one is hard, I mean I only have 48 hours. Can’t go too far. But if it’s a dream, I’m going to the Wine Train in Napa Valley.

2. How to get there? I’d fly their on the fastest flight, with the best seats in the house for my hubby and I. We’d leave early and get early. First class baby! Private jet, first class, just me and my hubby.

3. Flying in the family. I would fly in all of my hubby and I’s closest family and friends. They are all flying first class too.

4. We’d have a gourmet chief on the plan making us and amazing breakfast in the sky.

5. Where are staying? I’m rent out an entire beautiful location just for out guest.

6. We’d spend the rest of the day enjoying the environment in the area. Eating gourmet meals and enjoying the Napa Valley.

7. Food/Wine train for dinner. Yeah!

8. The next morning we’d have breakfast on yacht, just me an my hubby…. a romantic!

9. Shopping…. why not with unlimited cash? And I’m buying houses for everyone in my family and rental property. Too deep for this fun assignment? I know. lol

10. The whole family would slip back into the family plan and head either to a great city that has a team we like that’s playing that night   court-side NBA seat in a great city. After the game we’d ride in limos all round town—the best restaurant, a few clubs, and ending next to the pool. Before my magic runs out everyone would get first class flights back home….

What would you do if you had 48 hours,

no responsibilities, and unlimited cash?

1. The ding ding ding that alert you that you’re almost out of gas. The worst place to hear it? On the highway, in between exit!
2. The ding ding ding of the check engine light! Is the absolute worst sound in the world! Is it more, or does it only seems to happen right when you run out of cash?
3. “Are we there yet?” I simply cannot take roadtrips with children or child like adults. We’ll be there when we get there!
4. “Did that say exit 58?” I cannot stand missing my exit on the highway! It is so blasted irritating to get lost in an area you don’t know!
5. Screeching tires right ahead! I think its worse to hear an accident then to see it happen. Your heart starts to race, and you’re looking absolutely everywhere to figure out where happened. 
6. License and registration please? I hate being pulled over by the cops. (Who doesn’t) Rarely happens, but when it does it’s a nerve-racking experience!
7. “Oh honey we are almost on gas.” Don’t you love it when you’re about to go somewhere and your partner just happens to remember that the dial is almost on E? Convenient amnesia, or well laid out plot? Hummm…
8. Sirens of any type. Police, ambulance, firetruck, it really doesn’t matter. When the siren goes off, or you see flashing lights in your rearview mirror, your heart stops and your mind races, even if it is just for a second.
9. “We have an accident on the 4-08”. Don’t you hate listening to the news right before you leave only to hear there is an accident on your route? So irritating. I think sometimes if I don’t listen the accident won’t exist. 
10. Pop! Flap-flap-flap. I’ll admit it, women’s lib all aside, I can’t fix a tire. I dread the day when I’ll have a flat, and pray I won’t be alone, and it won’t be night time when it happens!

1. My pedicurist! As I sit here, literally writing this article while my feet soak, I have to say “Hail to pedicurist!” because dealing with my feet ain’t easy! Thanks to this little stop I make every few weeks, it’s one less thing I have to worry about!
2. The Chinese delivery girl! Sometimes I’m just not going to cook. It might have been a long stressful day, and as I drive home I’m daring my husband to ask “What’s for dinner?” It’s not his fault. The Chinese delivery woman has saved us several arguments.
3. My Roomba! Yes I do own one of those little automated machines that vacuums and sweeps for me! And yes it does work! How lovely to be sweeping the kitchen and watching the game at the same time!
4. My braidist! I get my hair twisted at least once a month.I hate doing my own hair. It takes forever and rarely turns out the way I want it too. My natural hair stylist makes me look fabulous and saves me lots of time and bad hair days!
5. My dishwasher! I loath washing dishes! I load that sucker up every chance I get!
6. The people who pre-match outfits at the store. Be honest, you’ve seen a “look” on a mannequin before, and being lazy just said, “That looks good!” Really, just me huh?
7. The person that invented the indoor doggie bathroom pad! My mini pin is about 5 pounds and house broken. While she is taken for walks a few times a day, I love the little section in the second bathroom that is all hers! One less walk to do!
8. My keruig! Ah, gourmet coffee at a fraction of the price in seconds? Don’t mind if I do!
9. Dinner in a bag! I always have one in the freezer for those days I forgot to thaw out the chicken!
10. Steve Jobs! I’m a huge tech head! While technology can zap your time and make it more complicated, knowing how to correctly use and balance it really can make your life simpler and more productive!